The Emotional Hijack: Why Your Feelings Can Sabotage Your Choices

What is an Emotional Hijack?

Have you ever stormed out of a meeting in a fit of anger, only to regret your outburst later? Or perhaps accepted a job offer based solely on excitement, neglecting to consider potential downsides? We all saw or heard about the 2022 Oscars when Will Smith slapped the presenter Chris Rock live, on stage. This was due to Chris Rock making jokes of his wife, Jade Pinkett Smith.

These are classic examples of emotional hijacking; a phenomenon where our emotions take control of the decision-making process, often leading to impulsive choices with negative consequences.

The Two-Brained Decision Maker and the Hijacking Process

Imagine your brain as a bustling decision-making chamber. In one corner sits the CEO, the logical Prefrontal Cortex, calmly analyzing data and weighing options. Across the room, the passionate Chief Feeling Officer, the Amygdala, reacts instinctively with gut feelings and emotional cues. In ideal situations, these two advisors work together – the CEO considers the CFO’s insights to make well-rounded decisions.

However, under pressure, stress, or fatigue, the feeling brain can stage a coup. The amygdala, responsible for our fight-or-flight response, floods the body with hormones like cortisol. Suddenly, clear thinking goes out the window, and we react impulsively based on fear, anger, or excitement. This is the emotional hijack.

Evolutionary Roots and the Science of Emotion-Driven Choices

Our emotional hijacking tendencies stem from our evolutionary past. For our ancestors navigating a dangerous world, quick, automatic responses were essential for survival. The brain developed these shortcuts – emotions – to make split-second decisions in life-or-death situations. Today, however, these shortcuts can be counterproductive in our complex modern world.

When stress hormones like cortisol surge, they dampen the activity of the prefrontal cortex, hindering its ability to analyze choices objectively. This leaves the emotional brain, with its emphasis on immediate threats and rewards, in the driver’s seat. Further complicating matters, oxytocin, the “love hormone,” can influence our decisions by prioritizing emotional connections over rational thinking.

For instance, imagine receiving a scathing email from a colleague. Your amygdala might interpret this as a personal attack, triggering a surge of anger. Before your prefrontal cortex can intervene and analyze the situation logically, you might fire off a hasty reply, escalating the conflict.

The impact of emotional hijacking goes beyond professional settings. In our personal lives, too, it can lead to strained relationships and missed opportunities. Imagine having a disagreement with your partner. Frustration builds and before you can fully process your thoughts, a harsh word flies out of your mouth. The hurt in their eyes is clear, the damage is done and the conversation quickly spirals into a fight.

The High Cost of Emotional Hijacking

The consequences of emotional hijacking can be significant. Rash decisions at work can damage relationships with colleagues or lead to missed promotions. Impulsive financial choices can create stress and regret. Consider the following scenarios:

• A talented programmer, frustrated by a challenging bug, throws in the towel and quits their job, overlooking potential solutions they might have discovered with a calmer head.
• A couple, caught in the excitement of new love, rushes into a marriage without considering potential compatibility issues. Years later, they find themselves facing a difficult divorce.
• An investor, fueled by FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), invests a large sum of money in a trendy tech startup without thoroughly vetting the company’s fundamentals, leading to significant financial losses.

These are just a few examples of how emotional hijacking can impact various aspects of our lives.

Taking Back Control: Manage Your Emotions, Not Your Choices

While emotions are an inherent part of the human experience and can play a positive role in decision-making, their hijacking tendencies can be detrimental. The good news is, we can learn to manage our emotions and prevent them from sabotaging our choices. Here are three key strategies:

1. Develop Self-Awareness: The First Step to Managing Your Emotions

The first step to managing your emotions is becoming aware of your emotional triggers. Pay attention to the situations and feelings that typically lead you to make impulsive choices. Here are some questions to consider:

• What situations typically evoke strong emotional responses in you?
• What are your physical signs of stress or anger?
• How do you typically feel just before making an impulsive decision?

Reflect on past situations where strong emotions influenced your decisions. Consider what the outcome might have been had you acted differently.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate Calm in the Chaos

Techniques like meditation and deep breathing have been shown to reduce stress and improve decision-making. By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can cultivate your ability to recognize when emotions are interfering with your choices and take a step back to assess the situation more objectively.

Seek Objective Input: Harnessing the Collective Mind

Don’t go it alone when facing a big decision. Seek objective input from trusted friends, colleagues, or mentors. They can act as a sounding board, challenging assumptions, exploring options and offering a reality check.

Choose Wisely: Seek advice from individuals with relevant experience, sound judgment and who share your values.

Communicate Effectively: Briefly explain your dilemma, be open to feedback and actively listen.

By leveraging the collective mind through objective input, you can make well-informed and emotionally balanced decisions.

In conclusion, emotions can sometimes lead us astray when making decisions but they are also an essential part of the human experience. It is crucial to recognize when an emotional hijack might be affecting your choices and to develop the skills to manage it effectively. By working on self-awareness, mindfulness and seeking objective input, you will be on your way to making smarter, more confident decisions in your life and career.